Disdain for the Poor

I have worked with low-income people most of my professional career.  I’ve been in low-income housing and falling apart rental property and I have seen firsthand how these people live their lives.  It is easy to criticize them for their cable TV and big screened TV’s but could you tolerate the rest of their lives?  Most don’t have cars and if they do, it is some junk yard reject that sputters down the road.  They usually get plenty of “money” for food, but there is no cash for toilet paper or feminine hygiene products.  Yes in some manner they do seem to find money for cigarettes and booze but there is not much familial or financial support to move on from government supported way of life.

That aside, poor people live their lives pretty much the same way most people do.  They just frame it differently than middle and high income people do.  There is less cash to smooth out the rough spots.  Middle income people have no problem affording the lifestyle that entertains, activities that sooth the soul and high end doctors that prescribe drugs to help deal with life’s stressors.  Poor people do the same thing; it is just a bit less sanitized. I’ve heard the stories about swinger parties with the upscale couples and leaders of the community and also the criticism about low-income men who have a woman on every block.  Tell me what is the difference?  Actually there is no difference.  And if you think there is, then you are justifying something in your own existence. Having sex with multiple partners is the same whatever and whenever it happens.

We are certain welfare recipients must be drug tested because they receive government money but never once suggest that farmers be drug tested as well – and they receive tons of government money.  If we tested farmers there would be on outcry, but everyone wants to beat the drum to test welfare recipients.  Why is one more relevant than the other – I can’t think of a single reason other than people want to disdain poor people.

In the USA, we live with the high ideal that if someone works hard enough, they will be rewarded with money.  This carries over to the logical conclusion that poor people must be lazy and therefore, could help their situation in some manner.  They just need to raise themselves up by their bootstraps, get an education, get a job and reach the higher level of consciousness of middle income or better.

Yet, this is not reality.  None of us chose the home to which we were born and it is easy to see how some people achieve their success on the coat tails of family or political position.  We hate to admit that because if any of us were to receive a perk because of money or connection, we would rather say it was because we were smart, educated or some self-grandiose conclusion.  When it is coming our way we deserve it when in reality is it often by chance, parental or political connection.

It does seem a bit crazy, but it almost seems people thrive on having a disdain for a segment of society.  It is like the school yard where children have to have some kind of dominance and so they pick on the different child – whether it is color, intellectual abilities, weight or fill in the blank.    I am not sure why this is so psychologically important for some people to have something to dislike, but I imagine it has something to do with their own personal self-loathing.

We all have things we dislike about ourselves and it is hard in our Puritan, hard-working, perfectionist society to deal with those things.  Let’s all admit it – it is a struggle. It is much easier to show disdain for some other group or persons.  It eases our own perception of ourselves – BUT is solves nothing and it actually makes matters worse for everyone.

I want to further explore why people have this insatiable desire to disdain poor people.  For now look at yourself.  What do you see?  What is that you don’t like about yourself?  Does it really make much sense to dislike someone else because you can’t cope with your own imperfections?  More to come.

Disappointment with Professionalism

Not sure where the official book of professionalism is published but it would be nice to pull excerpts and provide quotes in memos, emails, conversations and social media posts about professionalism especially when someone you work with or associate with on a professional basis displays unprofessional behavior.  I can hear myself now saying in chapter 5 it clearly says that is inappropriate behavior.  Yet, professionalism is never cut and dried and it can be a subjective continuum.

I have to admit I am a bit of perfectionist and want and need to do things right.  It is character trait bred into me by my parents and possibly being the middle child.  So when people slip up and I get the short end of their professionalism or lack thereof, I get a little miffed. The tidbit of information was just too great not to pass on despite directions to keep things on the silent side.  I get particularly bothered by board members who do not keep business information confidential or when people circumvent the proper change of command because it works to their advantage.

Usually people disregard professionalism when it is more rewarding for them to not be professional.  In their minds, it is more advantageous for them to do the other thing.  It seems easier to patch the professionalism at a later time than to honor the designated system.  Some people may trip over the rules due to ignorance, but that is a rare thing.

There is also the consideration that the subjective slide of relativity may slant their idea of professionalism, but that argument is hard to believe because most people would scream loudly if someone treated them in a similar manner.  Most people know when they have received the short end of professionalism.  Even animals know when they have been treated unfairly, but that is another subject.

I am also hard on myself when I fall short as well.  I have said my fair share of apologies and I learned that it is best to say them as soon as possible and repeat them from time to time for my own sake as much as it really does bother me to dump on someone else no matter what the issue is.  I was caught up in the moment and the words came out.  I knew better.  So I do give unprofessional glitches somewhat of a pass in others.  After all no one is perfect including myself.

Forgiveness is great and I am glad for it, but back to this standard of professionalism.  No one polices it and one can go for years and never feel the bite of their own lack of professionalism or do they?  I know my opinion of others has changed when I have witnessed or been the brunt of their lack of professionalism.  It bothers me even when a favored friend or colleague messes up without remorse.  Not that there are out in my book, but do I trust them down the road if the pattern persists?

Life, people, colleagues and friends are going to disappoint and yes, we will even disappoint ourselves.  That is the nature of living, but far too often people think more of themselves in their actions than really what is best for others or the situation. I like the statement, “Treat others like you would like to be treated.”  This is great advice because nearly everyone knows how they would like to be treated.  Following this advice would go a long way in improving professionalism.